A few days ago, I posted something on my Facebook about "What-Ifs"... There's no one particular reason--just a higher-than-normal phylisophical moment I suppose. If you recal from my earlier post when I got my most recent tattoo, it is pansies...which I found somewhere mean "thought"... and since I think to much, and they are my favorite flower, and they also serve as a memorial to those who couldn't be with me at the wedding, it's why I got the tattoo... I think to much...which, is where my What If scenerios seem to constantly pop in my head.
Now, this is nothing new...really. I could share years of private journal entries, but you'd have me committed! Perhaps I should be posting this there instead... I may, but it would be uncensored...as this one is. I know, this blog is truly making no sense.
Throughout my 20s I swear I just overthought stuff way to much. Just the ohter day, I was watching the "Sex and the City" movie...and I recall a line of... "have fun... that's what your 20s are for.. your 30s, are to learn lessons..." Made me starting realize how "old" I was in my 20s..constantly being afraid of what people might think if I did something....keeping me in some state of fear from freely living my life. It wasn't until close to my mid 30s that I believe I really started to embrace life and live. And, I'm trying to continue that--without overthinking every decision in life. I have certainly become more spontaneous...which, ironically, causes a few more 'what-ifs'... you know what if I had thought that action thru... would I have changed my mind?
We could all drive ourself insane with the "what if" question...this I know. No, now, friends...don't be freaking out thinking I'm hanging out on a high point of some major decision in life... I'm just frankly a bit bored sitting here in my living room on a quiet Sunday and felt like expressing some thoughts.
Ok...enough deep shit..lol.
Honeymoon was great...for those who haven't seen the pictures, shoot me a message and I'll send the link to my Facebook. Now, onto what is sure to be a busy summer...heck, I'm alreday trying to schedule a weekend with friends.... so much for spontinaeity!
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